Recap: Glee, Season 1, Episode 20, “Theatricality”

Glee, Season 1, Episode 20, “Theatricality”

Tina is in trouble, Figgins apparently feels that she is the head of the goth movement, and is placing a ban on the whole look, to quell the rise in Twilight related attacks on students and Figgins own irrational fear of vampires. I always knew my issues with those books were justified. Figgins tells her to change her look or she’ll be suspended. Dang. I guess the fashion police are real.

Burt and Finn’s mom have decided to shack up, and Finn, despite being nice to Burt a few weeks back, continues to whine about it and insults Kurt’s hors d’œuvre. Worse for him, he has to share a room with Kurt. Kurt, looking rather dapper in his suit, couldn’t be happier, and takes the opportunity to think about redecorating, because really, no one else can pull off Dior gray.

Tina comes to school the next day sans makeup and looking generally frumpy, a look she calls “Asian Branch Davidian”, a reference most people under the age of twenty will miss completely.

Rachel barges in and lets everyone know that she’s been rooting through the dumpsters (literally) at Carmel High and her discovery of empty boxes of Christmas lights and sold out red Chantilly lace leads her and everyone else to one logical conclusion: Gaga. Vocal Adrenaline plans to perform a Lady Gaga number and score big points for theatricality – hence the episode title. Mr. Schue, never able to form an original thought of his own, gives out the Assignment of The Week: Gaga, hoping it will help Tina find a new look, because being goth-adjacent isn’t socially awkward enough.

At the Vocal Adrenaline rehearsal, the kids are in Gaga’s Heat Miser inspired number from the Video Music Awards. Rachel, Mercedes, and Quinn, despite her previous bitchiness with the Glist, break into the rehearsal. Shleby gives a big speech about what theatricality really means and Rachel’s eyes get all big. When no one in Vocal Adrenaline seems to understand what she’s saying, because their heads are covered in red lace, no doubt, she does a rendition of Barbara Streisand’s “Funny Girl” – in E flat – to a mirror. Rachel is mesmerized by Shelby’s performance, and drawn to the stage, where she introduces herself as Shelby’s daughter.

Rachel and Shelby talk about Shelby’s regrets and that as well as being dopplegangers, they both see the world in the same sort of way, too. Shelby is taken aback by everything and abruptly leaves, promising to call later.

Mr. Schue is looking at Gaga’s Wikipedia page when Finn walks in, and Finn continues to whine about not wanting to do the assignment – what does Kurt see in Finn, exactly? Finn has an idea of his own that he feels will work better with the rest of the guys.

Puck and Quinn argue about which alcoholic beverage to name their child after, until Quinn reminds him that she’s giving up the baby and that he can go and be a rock star without worrying about what will happen to it or if their unborn will end up on the Rock of Love Bus.

Tina walks into school in the Gaga bubbles outfit, based on her Rolling Stone cover photo, with Kurt in one of the Alexander McQueen inspired outfits from the “Bad Romance” video. Two Random Football Players enter and get Generically Angry for no reason in particular other than “Argh! You’re weird and dress differently and I can’t adjust to that!” When Kurt drops a remark about Supercuts, bastion of hair cuttery to all Random Football Players, he gets called a homo.

At rehearsals, all the ladies (and Kurt) show off their Gagawear, and Brittany has the best outfit of them all because it’s a sparkly lobster and really, it’s no contest. Mercedes is wearing a variation of the Gaga hairbow outfit, and Quinn is wearing a take on Gaga’s Grammy entrance dress. Mercedes tells Mr. Schue everything that happened at the Vocal Adrenaline rehearsal, and Rachel walks in donning a creepier take on Gaga’s Kermit Dress, only this one is a collection of other assorted stuffed animals, including a very dejected looking Raggedy Anne. Google that one, kids. The outfit is so bad that the stuffed animals have gone suicidal.

Then we have Kurt leading the ladies in a rendition of “Bad Romance”, which was the song that got me into Gaga. While most of the song has to be toned down for television, Santana’s portion of it is actually very well sung and her voice, which sounds more like her and less like a Monica rip off, seems to be the closest in bitch to Gaga herself. I would have preferred the Glee kids take on a shot for shot remake of this song with Sue Sylvester rather than Vogue. Imagine Jane Lynch in any Gaga outfit – the sparkler boobs at the end of the video when Gaga lights on fire? Amazing.

The Random Football Players return with their Generic Anger, this time directed at Finn, who is applying eyeliner to make a KISS mask for himself. Football Players tell him he’s gotten a bad case of the gay living with Kurt, but I think he’s got a case of the crankypants based on his recent behavior.

Rachel returns to Carmel High and reveals her suicidal stuffed animal dress, which I’m sure makes Shelby feel not quite so bad about giving Rachel up. Rachel tells her that her dads can’t sew, but that she needs her help to finish the outfit. Apparently Shelby can sew, and Rachel returns to New Directions in a Lady Gaga triangle dress inspired outfit.

The boys, minus Kurt, begin a rendition of KISS’ “Shout It Out”, in full KISS regalia, and apparently the production values were higher on this number, which includes big flames and bright lights instead of awkward iMovie video editing tactics that were featured in “Bad Romance”. The highlights of this KISS number include Puck’s arms. Frankly, I’m surprised that modern kids still know who KISS are.

Random Football Players return, this time “damaging Kurt’s Gaga outfit” which is basically a TV friendly way of saying “we aren’t the kind of show that’s going to have a gay-bashing in its first season”.

Back at Kurt’s place, with Gaga’s “Speechless” – my favorite song of hers to date – playing in the background, Finn is attempting to have a serious conversation with Kurt, though it’s a bit difficult to take it all that seriously when he still has full Gene Simmons all over his face. That sounds gross.

Finn tells Kurt to tone it down, they are in Ohio, after all, and that he shouldn’t always be making a spectacle of himself. When Kurt offers Finn a moist towelette to get rid of the rest of his makeup, Finn smacks him and then runs off. Guess he didn’t know that moist towelettes don’t spread the gay, only holding political office while foot tapping or purchasing rent boys.

Shelby shows up in Will’s office and Will tells her to be careful with Rachel because he believes that she’s not as committed to Rachel as Rachel is to her. Shelby reveals that she had a hysterectomy and can’t have any more kids, but that she doesn’t really know if she’s ready for a young adult in her life

Kurt reveals his and Finn’s newly redesigned bedroom, inspired by the film “Morocco”. Finn goes into a Crankypants Rage fueled by gay panic over a simple partition. Finn really loses it, and begins to call everything in the room “faggy”, until Burt, hereby known as Most Awesome Dad Ever, walks in.

Burt delivers another speech, this time about language, and using “faggot”, which is still an issue that I can say, based on experience, plagues many “open minded” kids, especially those who play sports. Burt expresses his complete disappointment in Finn and kicks him out, even at the cost of losing Finn’s mother.

Puck wants to say something to Quinn about his decision to name his baby Midori Sour and goes into a take on KISS’ “Beth” this time performed acoustically, like that one KISS album when they didn’t have makeup. Quinn begins to cry, though it might be the feathers in her eyelash extensions.

Shelby approaches Rachel in the auditorium, telling her that they she knew couldn’t make the relationship work because it’s too late. They agree to “respect each other from afar” and see if something could work in the future.

What follows is the most awkward rendition of “Poker Face” ever. If you know what the song is talking about, you wouldn’t ever, ever want to sing this song with your mother, or any member of your family. What was worse was that the song moved at an even slower pace than Gaga’s acoustic version of the song, so the awkwardness was drawn out. The only song I can think of that was more uncomfortable to listen to was George Michael and Tobias Funke’s version of “Afternoon Delight”. Barely.

Tina then realizes what Mr. Schue and his contrivances couldn’t: that she needs to be herself and no one else, and that Asian vampires are the most vicious of all the vampires.

Finn then comes to Kurt’s aid from Random Football Players in some weird superhero condom drag number that even throws Kurt off. There’s an indication their may be West Side Story rumble in the future. Will brings it home with a slow clap that no one else joins in on. Sucks for him.

Next week things get funky/statutory!

Best Song

“Beth” – Puck’s acoustic take on this KISS is perhaps one of the most balanced songs the show has featured in a while; it found a way to sounds like it was recorded in the studio, it still maintains a naturalistic sound. Hopefully, more songs in the future will aim for this and not have the over-autontuned tinniness that has plagued many of the songs in the back nine.

Worst Song

“Poker Face” – I don’t know who decided this song would be a smart choice for a mother and daughter to sing to each other in what is meant to be a nostalgic and sweet way, comes off as creepy, especially when Menzel and Michele are sharing smiles with each other as they sing about “bluffing with their muffins”, which means, in case you’ve been living under a rock, that they are singing about their lady parts to each other.

I need a shower. Gross.

Top Three Lines

1. Brittany to Rachel, “You look terrible. I look awesome.”

This is the Brittany we know and love; the stupid has finally balanced itself out.

2. Tina, “My parents won’t even let me watch Twilight. My mom says she thinks Kristen Stewart seems like a bitch.”

If you know me even a little bit, you know why I put this line in.

3. Random Football Player, “You being a jock and being in this Glee club doesn’t make you versatile, it makes you bisexual.”

Double entendres! One of my favorite literary devices!