WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER?
Directed by: Mark Mylod
Written by: Gabrielle Allan, Jennifer Crittenden (screenplay), Karyn Bosnak (novel, “20 Times a Lady”)
Starring: Anna Faris, Chris Evans, Ari Graynor, Blythe Danner, Ed Begley, Jr.
In the vast, movie-going universe, two and only two kinds of romantic comedies (herewith “rom-com” or “rom-coms”) exist: those with Anna Faris in a lead or supporting role and those without Anna Faris in a lead or supporting role. In case you’re wondering, Faris’ presence in a comedy is, if not a sign of quality, then, at minimum, a sign of watchability. WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER? happens to be a rom-com in the latter category and for that, minimally watchable. Directed by Mark Mylod from a screenplay credited to Gabrielle Allan and Jennifer Crittenden, an adaptation, apparently, of Karyn Bosnak’s novel, “20 Times a Lady,” WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER? simultaneously suffers from a weak, thin premise (yes, even for a rom-com) and benefits from Faris’ expert comic timing and, as usual, material-elevating performance as the lead character, a neurotic, romance-obsessed thirty something revisiting her past for the “one” (as in the “one that got away”).
When we first meet Ally Darling (Faris), she’s waking up next to her latest boyfriend, Rick (Zachary Quinto), a super-aggro, vegan bike messenger. Ally wants more, Rick wants less, far, far less. Unsurprisingly, Rick’s a serious commitment-phobe and just as unsurprisingly a conflict between Ally and Rick erupts when she asks him to be her date at her younger sister Daisy’s (Ari Graynor) upcoming wedding. Rick balks, they talk, then he walks (as in permanently, never to be seen or mentioned again). Ally’s bad day turns worse when she’s unceremoniously fired from her marketing job by her superficial, self-obsessed boss, Roger (Joel McHale). On the subway ride home, she comes across an article in Marie Claire that suggests she’s doomed (as in “absolutely doomed”) to spinsterhood because she’s slept with too many men (19 by her later count) and still hasn’t found the “one” (as in the “one and only” monogamous, lifetime mate, usually an unspoken, but no less essential, premise underpinning the rom-com genre).
Ally, however, doesn’t have time wallow in personal and professional misery. She paints on a bright smile and a blue dress, courtesy of her overbearing, controlling mother, Ava (Blythe Danner), grabs all the free liquor she can imbibe in a short time, and promptly embarrasses herself in front of her sister, sister’s fiancé, her mother, and the assembled guests. In short order, a newly obsessed Ally has decided she needs to track down the 19 (soon 20) men she’s connected with sexually (if not emotionally) and find out if overlooked the “one.” For help in her life-redefining project, Ally conveniently turns to her neighbor, Colin Shea (Chris Evans), a struggling musician (or so with told) with amazing tracking abilities courtesy of his police detective father. Colin also happens to be the Lothario-across-the-hall who uses Ally’s apartment as sanctuary when he wants to dump his latest romantic conquest without exchanging pleasantries or, presumably agreeing to a second date.
Of course, Colin only seems unworthy of a lifetime commitment. For reasons murky and undefined (by the screenwriters if no one else), Colin falls for the flighty, obsessive, not to mention jobless Ally, but dutifully follows up and shares every lead he finds with Ally who, just as dutifully (to the script’s demands) contacts her former lovers (insert random cameos from mostly known comedic and dramatic actors) before, ultimately, we, along with Ally and Colin find ourselves in an airport, with one or both heading to different parts of the globe. That last sentence isn’t actually true (it’s not true at all), but WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER? ends where countless rom-coms have ended before: At one or more weddings. It’s symptomatic of a risk-free screenplay, easy, if R-rated laughs, and the requisite all’s well that ends with a monogamous couple (well) we’ve come to expect and, at least among some moviegoers, detest.
That’s not to say WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER? doesn’t have its charms. It does, but that’s les script- or director-driven than it is acting driven. Faris, Evans, the believable chemistry they share together, along with their ability to make even the most banal one-liners sound vaguely humorous, plus a game cast, do their best with underwritten, formulaic material, but more often than not, it’s not enough. And that’s not taking into account the dubious, regressive premise or how and why Ally and Colin seem so unconcerned about money when she’s unemployed and he’s a struggling musician. Perhaps he has a trust fund we never hear about, but maybe, quite possibly, that’s overthinking it, something we obviously shouldn’t do when it comes to WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER?
