THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1
Directed by: Bill Condon
Written by: Melissa Rosenberg (screenplay), Stephanie Meyer (novel)
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli, Ashley Greene, Nikki Reed, Jackson Rathbone, Kellen Lutz, Elizabeth Reaser, Billy Burke
Bella, Edward, Jacob, and the romantic triangle that isn’t (a romantic triangle), are back, finally for their second-to-last installment in the obscenely lucrative, if egregiously execrable installment in the TWILIGHT franchise that made household names out of Kristen Stewart (Bella), Robert Pattinson (Edward), Taylor Lautner (Jacob), and if she was already, Stephanie Meyer, the author of the TWILIGHT books. Narrative, dramatic, and aesthetic quality have been in noticeably short supply throughout the big-screen adaptations of Meyer’s bestselling novels. Sadly, THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN, PART 1 (Part 2 will be released next fall) shares its predecessors’ myriad flaws. BREAKING DAWN, PART 1 duplicates and magnifies those flaws, making BREAKING DAWN, PART 1 yet another risible, ridiculous, preposterous entry in a risible, ridiculous, preposterous series.
BREAKING DAWN, PART 1 opens with the life-altering moment Twi-Hards have been impatiently anticipating since they first read or saw TWILIGHT four (or more) years ago: Bella Swan’s (Kristen Stewart) impending nuptials to Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), Bella’s one-time brooding stalker, definite one-and-only true love and century-old, sparkly vampire. Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), Bella’s best friend forever (he’s always wanted more, of course), a Native-American, shapeshifter (i.e., werewolf) and champion sulker, initially refuses to attend the wedding. Naturally enough, he thinks Bella’s about to commit a grievous error. Post-marriage, Jacob assumes Bella will leave her humanity behind and become a vampire like Edward. When Jacob learns that Bella’s postponing her initiation into the ranks of the sparkly undead, he freaks, concerned with Bella’s physical safety when she loses her virginity to the superhuman Edward (more about this later).
Once again, the Cullen Clan (a.k.a., the Cullen B-Stars, Also-Rans, or After-Thoughts, Back-Up Vamps, etc., etc., etc.), Carlisle (Peter Facinelli), Edward’s “maker” and father figure, Esme (Elizabeth Reaser), Edward’s mother figure, Alice (Ashley Greene), his pseudo-sister, Jasper Hale (Jackson Rathbone), her lover, Emmett (Kellan Lutz), the all-purpose, mono-syllabic beefcake and handyman, and Rosalie Hale (Nikki Reed), Emmet’s girlfriend, wife, or something-or-other, play a supporting, if significant role in the film. Bella’s parents, Charlie (Billy Burke) and Renée (Sarah Clarke), also make an appearance at the wedding, but contribute little, if anything, beyond teary-eyed doting on their desperate-to-be-married (and desperate to be devirginized) daughter.
For their long-awaited honeymoon, Edward, back in control-freak mode, takes Bella to a private island off the coast of Rio de Janeiro gifted to him by Carlisle. The Cullens aren’t just immortal vampires, they’re also members of another exclusive club, the idle rich (a.k.a., the top 1%). It’s during said honeymoon that BREAKING DAWN, PART 1 crosses over completely into the not-quite-sublime ridiculous when Bella engages in headboard-breaking sexual relations with her husband (sex between Bella and Edward redefines “rough sex”). She’s left with bruises on her arms, legs, chest, and back, but those bruises fail to convince Bella that sex with Edward might be detrimental to her health.
Far more detrimental than human-vampire sex, however, is the terrifying result of said human-vampire sex (in Meyer’s universe, anything sex-related should be feared and avoided if possible): Bella becomes pregnant with a human-vampire hybrid. The fetus grows at an accelerated rate that threatens Bella’s life. Edward wants to save Bella’s life (i.e., abortion [Edward never mentions the actual word]), as does Jacob. Bella’s terminal pregnancy also threatens the longstanding vampire-werewolf truce for one nonsensical reason or another, setting up the inevitable, if meaningless, conflict between the Cullens and the local Wolf-Pack (and their seemingly inexhaustible shorts supply). The Volturi, TWILIGHT’s goth poseurs/ultra-villains, make only a brief appearance in a nightmare sequence, but they’ll play a more significant role in PART 2.
As late-night informercials were often fond of saying (and maybe still are), that’s not all. Before BREAKING DAWN Part 1 concludes, setting up the second and final installment in the TWILIGHT franchise, the new-to-the-series director, Bill Condon (DREAMGIRLS, KINSEY, GODS & MONSTERS), and returning screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg, make sure to include several key moments from Meyer’s novel, including, but not limited to, Jacob in CG werewolf mode arguing telepathically with his now former pack (it’s even more hilarious than the preceding description suggests), the bloody, gory birth of Bella and Edward’s baby (toned down for requisite “PG-13” rating), and, saving the most disturbing for last, Meyer’s bizarre resolution of the non-existent romantic triangle (it’s not a triangle if the outcome is never in doubt) through “imprinting.”
Ultimately, we’re left with the usual mix of insipid navel-gazing, uni-dimensional characters, stop-start narrative momentum, redundant plot points, cringe-inducing dialogue, and non-special special effects (apparently money can’t buy you everything after all). Twi-Hards, however, won’t see the aforementioned critique as legitimate. Next year, those same super-fans will do their level best to make BREAKING DAWN PART 1 a box-office hit on par with its predecessors, something PART 2 will match or, more likely, exceed next year when it hits multiplexes like a bunker-busting cluster bomb.
