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Crystal

by • February 27, 2012 • Academy Awards, Awards, NewsComments (4)8

3 Caustic Oscar Observations

The dearly departed Billy Crystal.

I love Billy Crystal, grew up on his films (which is, in some cases unfortunate) and remember fondly his stints as Oscar host, but the times have changed and last night was painful. It was also sad, unless Crystal fooled us all and is some kind of  genius who was actually doing a  very self aware, full length impression of his MR. SATURDAY NIGHT character Buddy Young.

It seems like the first thing old comedians lose is their ability to be funny and the second thing is their ability to tell when the laughter is genuine, polite, or completely forced (*cough* Jay Leno *cough*). Poor Billy and poor us, they would have been better off re-animating David Niven.

 

"Jolie-ing", this is now a thing.

The birth of Jolie-ing. 

Angelina Jolie is a sexy, confident woman and I am a fan of her, lets say work, but one of last nights few laugh out loud moments came when she took to the stage in her “Hello boys, I’ve got a slit in my dress”/Wonder Woman pose, leg poked out, goofy smile affixed. “That’s the pose that stole Jennifer Aniston’s man” I thought, and then when Jim Rash (The Dean on COMMUNITY and a co-writer of THE DESCENDANTS) came to the stage and did his own Jolie pose while she stood in the background grinning like a jack-o-lantern atop a light pole, I knew that Jolie-ing had been born and the world would adopt it.

That’s right, the leg has a twitter account, and now a Tebow worthy trend. How do you Jolie? Fifth of scotch, syringe of collagen, a bottle of Ipecac, a thigh-master, and a broken glamour compass. Looks like Jen is finally winning the divorce.

Movies are magic, and if you don’t agree you are a communist…

Movies are something I spend my days writing about, watching, and obsessing over, so of course I think they can be magical, escapist fun. But they can also suck, and “The Night of 100 Homages” took it self far too seriously. Movies don’t, typically, save lives. Sure they can cheer us up when we are sad, but they can also exploit that ability. On a night of grandiose self-congratulation for an industry that seems to be up its own ass as much as a solo human centipede, this was perhaps the worst “look at us, aren’t we swell” part of the show. Thanks for the megaphone to the ear Oscars, we’re all so happy that you’re happy with yourselves.

4 other observations…

Meryl Streep is always charming, Christopher Plummer was the best part of the night, Sacha Baron Cohen isn’t edgy, he’s just a living breathing commercial for his upcoming film, and Jennifer Lopez has no appreciation for irony or able double stick tape. See you next year when a CGI’d Johnny Carson approximation hosts.

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  • Salma

    You suck the only reason I watched after so many years is because of Billy Crystal coming back, and he delivered I waxy entertain and have fun the whole time , what do you expect ? He was funny and he made the show go smoothly, how do I hate critics!!! The spoil all the fun an Angelina gas been with brad for 7 freaking years, how do you steal something that is not your…, give a rest !!! And be less of a Hypocrit and just say you don’t like the woman at least that can earn you respect for being honest …

  • jk

    Crystal was funny, the dresses were great and Angie did an old fashion “vamp” which was great, and I was never a big fan, but I really like her with Mr. Brad, and I like him with her…it was a very nice event to watch.

  • Jason Tabrys

    Salma, I do like Angelina Jolie but her vampy pose was a bit silly and over the top. If you hate critics so much why expose yourself to them? Pop on a VHS of FORGET PARIS, grab some Haagen and chillax, I’m just a pointy pebble in the ocean, avoid and swim on.